I have had a career that switched lanes quite
drastically (swerved seems more apt a word). Starting from an internship at a
bank, I moved to a newspaper for my first proper job. Next I jumped into the big bad world of
advertising but within a few years I bid
adieu to it and moved abroad to work with a production house. As fate would
have it, soon I was lured back to my home country with an offer from a
multinational company.
So while my Resume may reflect a haphazard
trajectory, I had loved every moment and every part of this journey. It was
only at the (abrupt) tail end of this career that I discovered the most
difficult job I had ever taken up. Motherhood! It’s not the crazy hours or the
(non existent) paycheque. It’s not even the sleepless nights and the anxieties
and fears that a mother always carries no matter how old or young her off
springs maybe. Rather, it is much more than that and this I discovered when my
twin girls turned 9 and realisation dawned upon me that this really is not
going to get easy ever.
With premature twin girls the first year was
surely the toughest in terms of physical exertion. Be it endless feed times,
constant diaper changes or the dreaded visits to the paediatricians’ clinic with
waiting sessions that seemed almost eternal.
Not to mention the sleepless nights and days.
Sleep deprivation is undoubtedly the number one grievance of all new mothers,
add to that twin babies and top it with the babies being premature hence
needing almost 24-hour care, the result is not less sleep its simply no sleep!
Going without sleep for almost 48 hours at
times, at that point I used to think if only I could get a decent night’s sleep
life will be perfect with my babies. Little did I know that this was only the
beginning to the many challenges motherhood would be posing along the way
moving ahead.
As I weaned them from milk and moved onto solid
foods things began to look brighter and easier. Very soon though the myth was
shattered as I realised that I was so not on top of the things in the food
world. I was not supposed to introduce wheat, honey, fish or eggs initially as
they may lead to a lifetime of allergies. Some fellow mums were so horrified
when they heard that I had introduced salt in their meals as well, when there
was no need. The logic being that babies don’t really know the difference do
they? If we don’t develop their taste buds, they won’t need salt in their food.
Smart point why did I never think of that myself? And the cardinal sin that I
committed which I never dared to reveal to the world before today was that I
actually gave them sugar in the first year of their existence. Pardon my
ignorance but I only learnt after having my kids that as per the latest
research on health, Sugar is equivalent to Poison. Only bad mothers give sugar
to their kids. The more I read up and discussed the more complicated things
became. Things came to a point where I became so paranoid that it seemed to me
that that every single food item in my kitchen and pantry is either bad for the
baby’s health, non-organic, laden with pesticides or bad quality. I was lagging
so far behind in the motherhood race that it was unbelievable. While I had
lovingly pureed and fed my kids the local (actually Chinese) carrots available
from the local veggie guy, all the together and “with it” mommies were only
giving their children organic vegetables.
Then came the academics, which school and when?
The debate was never ending. I thought my girls were the smartest kids I had
come across. And why not? After all they were pointing out and recognising over
10 colours and humming their favourite nursery rhymes with me.
Once we entered the big bad world of schooling
we encountered the uber cool, ultra smart toddlers who were already training to
be competitive swimmers, speaking three different languages and solving some
word problems also at age three. This may not be a bad thing either, as I
realised that the job description of motherhood has changed quite a bit since I
last saw our mum helping us with homework. Mothers are working super hard on
their kids to develop their talents and skills from a very small age. Perhaps
stemming from my inability to cope with the pace of things I was very cynical
about this scenario. Why is everyone so rushed and ambitious? Why can’t we just
let kids enjoy childhood like we did? However, soon realisation dawned that
times have changed and how. The world is not the same today as it was five
years back let alone comparing it our childhood which is probably the stone age
counted in technology and communication years. And if you want to give your kid
a head start in this redefined and redesigned world you better build up their
unique talents.
As my children are growing the next milestone
will be their teen years and this time I am trying to prep myself up. I have
stopped comparisons to my own childhood and its simplicity. Times have always changed
but the the way the entire landscape of life has changed in the past two decades
perhaps is unprecedented in the history of time.
I have to unlearn and keep up. Not give in to
peer pressure yet accept the inevitable norms of the day and bring up my
children accordingly. With a job description that is more comprehensive than
any and a reward system that is intangible this is by far and most certainly the
toughest job I have ever had!
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